The Green Days of Spring
by greetingsfrommaars
Summary: A series of short scenes for characters' birthdays. Most recently: Haruno Sakura learns that hell does exist on earth… it's called Tsunade's crash course in becoming a badass kunoichi.
1. January 1 - Maito Gai

_This will be a series of random scenes, one for each Naruto character's birthday that I keep track of. I have no idea what type of scenes they'll turn out to be, but we shall see..._

* * *

**January 1 - Maito Gai/Might Guy**

"Tell me the story about the condor and the kangaroo again, Grandpa!" the little girl shouted, clapping her hands together.

"My young disciple! Do not call me "Grandpa"; the fires of youth still burn bright in me yet! If you must refer to me, call me "Uncle"!" declared Gai, grinning down at her.

"Papa says you're getting old and you'll need to retire soon!"

"What sacrilege is this? Your father has betrayed me! O, youth! O, springtime, never end!"

"Retire, retire, retire!"

"Never! I shall always remain the Green Beast of the Leaf!"

"Grandpa Gai, going gray…" she sang, dashing out of the room.

"Surrender, young rascal! My hair still shines as bright as ever!" Gai shook his glorious locks out of his face emphatically, chasing the young girl through the doorway.

"Grandpa Gai, going bald…" the girl cheered, giggling as she tugged on her hair buns and pulled them loose. Running away from old men in denial always took maximum maneuverability.

"How dare you! What gives you the audacity to suggest that my youth is fading?"

"Papa says so!" she shrieked, barreling into her mother's back.

Tenten turned around from the kitchen table. "Hikari, don't rat out your father. He trusted you with his private opinion."

"My dear student, it pains my heart to see you complicit in this hooligan's slander! I remain as youthful as ever!"

Tenten rolled her eyes and turned to fix her daughter's hair.

Gai gave his unimpressed student a winning smile and a thumbs-up at an extra sharp angle.

"Mama, where's papa?" Hikari trained pale, milky eyes towards her mother, wincing when she felt the hair pins slide back into place. "He said he'd show me a chakra channeling technique!"

"He's gone away for a little while, dear. I'm sure we'll see him again soon."

"And when we do, Neji will be sure to receive an earful from me! Ignoring my teachings and scorning the creed of eternal youth!"

"Good luck with that, Grandpa Gai!"

"Why, you little rascal!"

_Gai shifted his stance and grinned, remembering a happy place that never was._

_Within his cocoon, the Green Beast rejoiced, and the Divine Tree rustled overhead._

-mm-

_Notes: My basic idea with this scene was to imagine what Gai's "ideal world" would be under Infinite Tsukiyomi. I haven't completely caught up on _Naruto_ at the moment, so I have no idea if this actually appeared in canon._

_Ringing in the new year with Gai... happy new year, everyone! XD Thank you for reading._

_Next up is Danzo. Oh, and any alternate title suggestions would be wonderful, because I'm not fond of this one._


	2. January 6 - Shimura Danzou

**January 6 - Shimura Danzou**

Something was wrong.

A suspicious feeling fluttered at the very edge of his senses, barely beyond his grasp. A feeling of uncertainty, of insecurity, as if there were someone lurking in the shadows, lying in wait. . . For all he knew, there could be. Some assassins would not hesitate to strike at him, the right-hand man of Konoha's highest-ranking leader.

While Sarutobi Hiruzen would be the obvious target, Shimura Danzou worked as the underlying source of support that held up the village. True, Hiruzen brought the citizens light and encouragement, like the leaves of the great tree, but Danzou aided everyone in unseen ways, the roots extending far below ground to anchor everyone else in place. If Hiruzen fell, Danzou would remain to build all of Konoha up from the ground again. Sometimes, he felt that weight settle inexorably across his back. The responsibility that came with his role; all of Konoha, towering above the rest of the world by standing on Danzou's shoulders, with the Hokage above all else. One would of course strike at the bottom of a tree in order to watch the very top branches fall, and Danzou could expect no less from Konoha's enemies. To be honest, he had anticipated an attack ever since he assumed his position in the shadows under Hiruzen. Perhaps the threat would come from Kiri, as a mist-shrouded swordsman, or from Iwa, with a subterranean assassin, or even Suna . . .

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANZOU!" Hiruzen leapt out of a hiding spot and dodged the kunai that immediately flew at his throat.

"_Hiruzen_!" Danzou shouted. So much for his supposed _assassin_. How could such a carefree buffoon be stronger than him?

"Happy birthday, Danzou-kun," chorused a new pair of voices. Koharu and Homura emerged from the next room, where they had most likely been lying in wait with the foolish Hokage.

"Happy fortieth, my friend. You're getting old." Hiruzen gave Danzou an intolerable grin, before lunging at him with a conical hat in hand.

"Not _old_, you fool, more mature and experienced in the field," retorted Danzou, pulling out another blade to slice the stupid hat in half.

"But you must admit that aging and maturing come hand in hand," added Koharu with a slight smirk. She made no motion to remove the identical hat that Hiruzen must have shoved onto her head beforehand. "In any case, I do hope you'll celebrate the occasion with us. We prepared a small party for you."

"A small party," muttered Homura. "With hours of preparation and an ungodly amount of streamers and such decorations . . ." He trailed off when Hiruzen brandished yet another foolish hat in his direction.

"Preparation and decorations that will not go to waste!" declared the Hokage. "We've got card games, party games, even some cake specially ordered from the Land of Tea, since we know you love brown rice tea . . . "

Danzou eyed the stubborn man before him and sighed. _The burdens of companionship. They'll never let me work now._

-mm-

_Notes: Fun fact-I'm not a fan of Danzou. I did think that writing a story from the point of view of a character I don't like would be interesting, though._

_I figured that we have enough of stodgy, cranky old Danzou floating around on FFN, ruining everyone else's happiness, so I decided to try a younger version of him, before he goes and orchestrates a massacre and all that. Though I remember that Danzou was far more hotheaded as a teenager, I imagined a somewhat older version of him as rather uptight and something of a workaholic. In my mind, he cares about the end result of any endeavor above all else, and he doesn't believe in taking breaks to celebrate small developments like surviving for forty years as a ninja. The ultimate goal of his life is to give Konoha power above everyone else, enough power that he won't even need to worry about its future well-being (though he still will). Until he realizes that dream, minor aspects of life, like parties and indulging his more lenient Hokage, take secondary importance._

_It's very amusing to annoy the heck out of Danzou._

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Haku._


	3. January 9 - Haku

**January 9 - Haku**

_"Watch, child."_

_ The woman raised her hands to the sky, smiling gently. Her hands were pale, like polished stone or tall mourning lilies, and her fingers extended towards the thin gray clouds like stark tree branches. Her hands grasping the sky, her head thrown back, she seemed to call the winter into her arms and hold it trembling between her wiry arms. Her kimono had cranes perched at its borders. She wore no gloves._

_ He watched a single snowflake drift down from above and settle on her callused index finger. A single piece of winter, ethereal and airy against her outstretched fingertip, and now gone in a heartbeat. It melted at her touch._

_Her smile widened._

_ "I wish they wouldn't melt," he said._

_ "They collect all over the ground and on our rooftop, child. You may enjoy those snowflakes as long as you can."_

_ "But those will melt too!" he protested._

_ "And if they did not, how would the crops grow in spring? An eternal winter would only leave the land barren and frozen. Embrace the snows while they are here, but let them go when their time comes. We can only accept fate when it comes to claim its due. When the snows leave, when our friends drift away, when we finally depart from this world, there is nothing else to do."_

_ He stayed silent, sullenly kicking at the ground._

_ "One day, you will know, my child: we are men of snow. We remain on this earth as long as we are meant to, but one day we melt, and any trace of us will be gone. One day…"_

* * *

"Out of the way, _scum_."

He scuttled sideways, further into the alleyway. Ducking his head down, he folded his pale fingers together and closed his eyes. In that floating darkness, away from the alley's trash and the passerby's sneers, he could imagine himself truly alone in the world, with nothing but his own thoughts and the approaching winter for company. The cold sank through his flesh and permeated his bones, froze them in place, until he could only hunch further into himself and draw his arms tighter around his bare shoulders. His clothes hung in tatters across his wasted frame. His mother was dead.

He felt a chill on his cheek, a breath of winter, like his mother's gentle touch. Looking up, he saw the sky full of thin gray clouds and airy white flakes.

A single snowflake drifted down to settle on his outstretched fingertip.

_My name is Haku, white as snow. One day, I will melt, and no one will ever realize I'm gone._

-mm-

_Notes: "Green Days of Spring," indeed. This scene suits the series title so much._

_His mother's last line comes partially from one of my favorite songs, "Men of Snow" by Ingrid Michaelson. Somewhere in the middle of writing about winter and snowflakes melting, the song popped into my head. I recommend it to anyone who would like a soundtrack to go along with this_ remarkably_ uplifting scene._

_Partway through, I realized that I was about to make a_ Frozen _reference without meaning to... "let them go"... let the snows go, and make my home warm again XD_

_I think I've given Haku's mother part of his submissive personality... Her viewpoint towards life turned out to be so depressing and accepting of death. Darn. Originally, I was considering also including a bit of Zabuza, but I ended up just focusing on Haku for the last part._

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Gaara._


	4. January 19 - Gaara

_Spoiler warning for the final chapter of _Naruto.

* * *

**January 19 - Gaara**

"Sorry, Kazekage-sama! We'll come back soon, we promise!" The Seventh Hokage's assistants rushed out the gate, bowing hastily to the man seated in the garden. "Just for these few hours!"

Gaara blinked at the retreating backs of Moegi and Udon. _They abandoned me_…

"Uncle Gaara! What do you wanna do?" chirped Inojin. The brushes in her backpack rustled as she knelt in front of him.

"Uncle, you like dango, right? Let's go to the dango shop!" cheered Chouchou.

"Let's just stay here… I want to laze around and feel the breeze on my face," muttered Shikadai. "It's not worth the effort to walk over there just to wait for our food…"

"Be quiet, you bum! Food is always worth it. If we ask nicely, maybe Uncle will even pay for us!"

"I want to go to Inojin's mom's shop and look at the flowers," suggested Himawari. "Aunt Ino said the lilies would be coming in soon."

"The lilies aren't suited to Konoha's climate. Something else would be better. Besides, Uncle Gaara likes cacti, right?" said Sarada, nudging her glasses higher on her nose. She gave her "uncle" a piercing look.

_They abandoned me with the pack of wolves…_ sighed the Kazekage to himself.

"Psh, he's an _adult_. He doesn't even know how to have fun. You know he's a Kage, right? He's worse than Aburame-sensei! He's at the highest level of boring!" insisted Boruto, leaping up to stand with an emphatic pose.

_Was Naruto this much of a brat when he was seven? _Gaara paused, remembering the Thousand Years of Pain jutsu. _Never mind; I don't want to think about it._

Boruto was still shouting about how boring and silly adults were when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Whirling around, he prepared to protest and stabbed an indignant finger at . . . nothing.

Sarada felt a trail of sand sneaking her glasses off of her face. She slapped the barely visible thread and glared at her uncle. He smirked back.

Chouchou had one earring stolen. Inojin fumbled for her paintbrush but lost it to another filament of sand. Shikadai felt a sharp tug on his hair and grumbled quietly about sneaky uncles with too much time on their hands. Through it all, Gaara sat motionless at the center of the garden, though one side of his mouth quirked higher in a little smirk. Himawari watched cheerfully, and simply grinned at him when she felt the sand grasp at the hair tie at the top of her head.

Boruto caught sight of the trail of sand, with an earring, a paintbrush, and a two hair ties floating along on it. Finally recognizing his culprit, the boy scowled.

"That's it! I declare war on you, Uncle Gaara!" Boruto dove at the thread of sand, leaping at it when the sand crept higher.

"Yeah, give my earring back!" Chouchou leapt to her feat and ran after Boruto. Inojin followed suit, pouting slightly at her uncle for stealing her precious brush.

"Come on, Shika-nii!" giggled Himawari, grabbing the boy's hand. She ignored his irritated mumbling and pulled him towards the growing crowd of children under a single thread of sand.

_Fortunately, I'm little crafty myself, _thought Gaara. _Not so boring now, am I?_

Two hours later, Moegi and Udon returned. They paused in surprise at the scene that greeted them—the pack of energetic children they had left behind was nowhere to be seen.

Beneath the noonday sun, a pile of exhausted children lay spread out around the Kazekage, hair ties and paintbrushes and small piles of sand resting by their heads.

Gaara waved with a small smile.

**-mm-**

_Notes: I have finally finished Naruto! Yahoo! I had around ten chapters to go, and I decided to have Gaara's scene be my celebration for finishing today :D_

_I was really amused to see that the final chapter was so similar to the kind of epilogue I would expect from, well, a fanfic. Haha. And all those really common ships became canon, too! I seriously was not expecting Chouji/Karui, though... XD_

_In case anyone doesn't know: Boruto (or Bolt) and Himawari are Naruto and Hinata's children. Sarada is the daughter of Sasuke and Sakura (and I absolutely refuse to call her "Salada"). For InoShikaChou: Inojin is the product of SaiIno,_ _Shikadai is the product of ShikaTema, and Chouchou is Chouji and Karui's kid. I was thinking of including Lee's kid and Sarutobi Mirai, but I figured Gaara can just handle all the little people by himself._

_Any time I write a story with small children, I think my frustrations as a teacher of elementary school kids comes out. My friend and I have been running a flute class for the little ones, and I daresay they take even more energy to deal with than the Konoha 11's children. And I don't even have control over all sand to help me... hahaha._

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Aburame Shino._


	5. January 23 - Aburame Shino

_Spoiler warning for the final chapter of Naruto._

**January 23 - Aburame Shino**

"UZUMAKI BORUTO!"

"Darn. They found me," he muttered, peering furtively around the corner. He had maybe thirty seconds to run, judging by the travel rate of his sensei. If he could maybe try to vault over this fence… or dash across the intersection towards the village center…

"You shouldn't have skipped class in the first place, Nii-san," admonished Himawari, looking up at her older brother. "Aburame-sensei and Akado-sensei would have found you no matter where you tried to hide."

"Never! I will never give in to those boring sensei!" shouted Boruto, standing up rapidly to emphasize his point. He forgot the low-hanging roof directly over his head and bonked his head into it.

"Uzumaki Boruto, you brat, when I get my hands on you—" Akado-sensei's threat cut off as she tripped over a hidden ninja wire. "_Ouch!_"

"I think you should have used the net trap, Nii-san," suggested Himawari. "I know you were in a hurry once you realized that Akado-sensei within range, but the ninja wire might hurt her ankle."

"Don't be silly, Himawari! If they're ninja sensei, they can deal with the pain! Besides, I did use the net trap." Boruto stared around the corner again to watch his diabolical plan unfold, his potential escape routes forgotten.

Aburame-sensei turned onto the street in front of him. Striding steadily towards Boruto's hiding place, he approached rapidly. He stepped onto the paving stone precisely five meters from Boruto.

A reinforced net swept out of the shadows under the nearest building and swallowed Aburame-sensei.

"Ha! Take that, boring sensei!" crowed Boruto. He felt a tap on his shoulder. "What do you want? Himawari—"

Aburame-sensei stood behind him, towering over the Academy student. A small smirk lifted one side of his mouth.

"But— what?" Boruto whirled around. He'd just captured the stupid sensei! How did the man escape his devious trap?

The net lay across the pavement in the spot where it had fallen, still whole but completely empty.

"And that, my student, is an example of the Clone Jutsu, which all your classmates are learning right now. If you had attended class _as you must_, you would have developed this valuable skill alongside them," intoned Aburame-sensei, still smirking.

Boruto gaped in shock.

"The Clone Jutsu, as you can see, is particularly useful as a decoy in maneuvers that require deception. If your opponent is not a fully trained ninja, he will be most unlikely to recognize the clone as an impostor, and you will gain the element of surprise."

Boruto pouted. _I skipped class so I could escape him, but I still had to listen to a boring lecture!_

"Hi, Aburame-sensei!" said Himawari, twirling the sunflower in her hands.

"Hello, Himawari-chan. I hope you do not plan on becoming a hooligan like your brother once you reach Academy age," replied Aburame-sensei with a stiff nod.

"No, sensei!"

"That is good to hear."

"I promise to be way sneakier than Boruto-nii-san!"

"I should hope so, Himawari-chan."

**-mm-**

_Notes: This chapter goes along with the previous one. I thought that Shino as an Academy teacher was a pretty interesting image, so I decided to write my own version of him. Apparently the all the kids from the last chapter of _Naruto _have claimed my imagination for the time being. Perhaps the inspiration really does come from my own students..._

_Thank you to my guest reviewer from the previous chapter!_

_Thank you to everyone else for reading! Next up is Namikaze Minato._


	6. January 25 - Namikaze Minato

**January 25 - Namikaze Minato**

"Wow! You've got quite a population of stone toads here!" Minato picked his way carefully down the slope, weaving between the frozen statues. Arriving at the bottom, he stood before the sacred fountain.

"Yes, each of these statues was once a student who attempted this senjutsu training," explained Fukasaku, hopping down beside him. "When a student fails to complete this training and cannot follow its guidelines, he or she will absorb too much nature energy and take on this form."

"We treat each of these former students with the utmost respect, for they have made a great sacrifice in the name of achieving the power of the Sage status," continued Shima as she plopped down on his other side. "No statue ever leaves this hill, and we always come by to dust them off."

"So, you remember these students that you had, right? Who was this one? Oh, and that one? This one looks like a really cheerful guy, with lots of energy, and that one looks very stern and boring. How did they fail this training?"

"Minato!" barked Shima. "Show them respect!"

"Forgive him, Shima-sama. The kid chatters like crazy when he's nervous." Jiraiya strode down the hill with an easy gait, glancing around nostalgically. "He buckles down when it's time to work, but he might babble your head off in the minutes before he starts."

"Sensei, don't make light of my situation! I'm in crisis here. What if I turn into a stone toad?" Minato turned to survey the hillside full of statues again.

"Says the guy who just took his jounin ranking test," snorted Jiraiya. "Why is this so much more stressful?"

"That was different," Minato insisted. "In that case, I already knew my own ability and my relative skill level. Here, I've never tried feeling nature energy before! What if I completely botch it? I don't know what to expect… The start is the most daunting part."

"Just look at it like another prototype seal array," Jiraiya suggested. "You love figuring out new concepts already. It's just that in this case, you don't get several trials to perfect the design. Either you become stone for the rest of eternity, or you don't."

"You should improve your pep talks, sensei. I don't feel inspired."

"No, you're just too naïve to appreciate my ability! Here, make it through this training and then tell me how you feel about it." Jiraiya grinned at his student and received a groan in response.

"Sensei…"

"Anyway, as to whether you'll turn into a statue… well, there's one great way to find out, isn't there?"

"Sensei!"

**-mm-**

_Notes: I came up with this idea just earlier today, while researching the toads in preparation for Minato's scene. Originally, I was thinking of imagining the first time Minato ever sees snow, in celebration of the recent snowfall in my area. (I love snow.) But then I was reading about the statues all around the sacred fountain for sage training, and then Minato started jabbering away in my head..._

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Sarutobi Hiruzen._


	7. February 8 - Sarutobi Hiruzen

**February 8 - Sarutobi Hiruzen**

"We need someone over here! The patient is—"

"She'll be alright, sir, now if you'll just head to the waiting room—"

"Please! Help! I'm in pain!"

The Hokage knelt in the secluded room and let the chaos fall away around him. He stared at the tiny form before his eyes with a blank expression, barely moving or even blinking.

"Hello, my grandson."

The baby snuffled into his blanket, and Sarutobi Hiruzen's serious expression broke into a weathered smile. He studied the child calmly: the small face scrunched up in sleep, the tiny hand curled around the edge of the blanket… _I was small and defenseless like this, once_, he told himself. _I had not even opened my eyes, but already, my village was there to care for me and protect me from harm._

Even now, just after the birth of his grandson, the Hokage knew that once he stepped outside, he would find a stirring atmosphere of comradeship and support. No matter what, the ninja of Konohagakure would stand behind Hiruzen as he led them on into the uncertain future. He would be first to greet each new dawn, rising early each morning to complete his duties, but he would be first to see beyond each dawn as well. As Hokage, his duty was not only to see the current circumstances for what they were, but also to peer into the distant mists of possibility and potential for his village. His people would always remain grounded, digging out the roots of each problem with dogged determination, and Hiruzen would be working steadily right there with them. At the same time, he looked overhead to the sky, to the great heights of prosperity that his village could reach, and he strove to reach farther, to strike higher, to lead Konoha as far into greatness as it could go.

The village of Konoha was, at its core, a congregation of markedly different people. However, for Hiruzen, as he looked down over his village from above, Konoha was far more than an assortment of individuals thrown together by birth and history. Konoha was the sense of pride he felt watching his people meet every challenge with renewed force and valor, like the indomitable forest after a devastating fire. Konoha was the feeling of strength that ran through his veins when he saw his people stand together, despite their disagreements and differences, as a single wood of many trees.

Konoha was the hope that rose within him as he watched the youngest members of his village, the smallest saplings just beginning to explore their world and all its wonders. And this child before him, the youngest of them all, had not even opened his eyes for the first time yet, but Hiruzen already saw the greatest of achievements in his future.

He cleared his throat. "My grandson, I have no doubt that you will one day grow into a fine man, worthy of your grandfather's praise and pride. You are the hopes of this clan and this village. With your comrades at your side, no goal is too challenging. No dream is too far-fetched. You will greet this world on your own terms, and you will make of it whatever you dream of, for the future is boundless."

"You are Konohamaru, the embodiment of all I treasure in this village of ours."

**-mm-**

_Notes: Yes, this is a day late. I started watching the Grammys with my parents yesterday night, and then I remembered at nearly midnight that I hadn't finished this scene... and I decided that sleep was more important._

_To my great amusement, this scene was supposed to be a precious moment between Hiruzen and Konohamaru, but it turned into a moment between Hiruzen and Konoha instead. I suppose even my subconsciousness recognizes that, to a Hokage, the village comes before anything else XD_

_I also intended for this scene to mirror Danzou's in some ways, in order to reflect the differences in how Danzou and Hiruzen view their village. I'm not quite sure how that turned out. Other ideas I had considered writing for Hiruzen were a) Danzou's revenge for his surprise birthday party and b) something with Hiruzen and his summons._

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Uchiha Obito._


	8. February 10 - Uchiha Obito

**February 10 - Uchiha Obito**

"Really, kid, you don't need to do this. Hey, you need to go meet your ninja team or whatever, right?" The elderly woman ambled along down the street as she spoke.

The young Uchiha waved off her protests, hoisting the grocery bag up further on his shoulder. "No, it's okay! Minato-sensei can handle Kakashi and Rin-chan until I get there. He handles everything really well."

"Well, your team should be doing all the grunt work around the village for D-ranks right now, right? Go with the other brats and maybe you'll actually get paid for carrying an old lady's vegetables, instead of trying to rush off with my carrots without my permission! You're not getting a cent from me."

"Aw, Haruko-san, I don't need money!" replied Obito cheerfully. Truthfully, he didn't care about getting money in return for his good deeds. Besides, Haruko-san always gave him the most amazing orange candies when he managed to deliver the carrots to her doorstep without jostling them in the bag. Maybe he could give some to Rin-chan! He might even hand one over to Kakashi, if the jerk wasn't too much of a jerk (so, in other words, if Kakashi somehow developed multiple personality disorder for a day, maybe).

Haruko-san grumbled all the way down the street and around the corner, but Obito knew that she appreciated his efforts anyway. She wouldn't feed him candy if she didn't!

All in all, his morning was excellent thus far. He wasn't that late to meet his team, Haruko-san would probably give him some sweets for his trouble, and a light spring breeze was meandering down the road…

Then it sent a chill down the back of his neck.

"Kid? What's the matter with you?" Haruko-san paused at the side of the road when she realized that her companion had come to a dead halt behind her.

"_Monster_." Obito stood stock still in the road, teeth bared at the apparition before him.

It glared back and yowled.

"…Kid, it's just a cat." Haruko-san gave him a distinctly unimpressed expression.

"No, no, you have _no_ idea what this creature is capable of. I met it in front of my clan compound before, and then somehow one of my house's doors was open for hours later, and the whole place was freezing! My mom blamed me! It's the bad luck of this black cat."

"You probably just left it open and forgot about it like the child you are."

"No, I'm sure it wasn't me! I haven't forgotten to close the door since that one time in the summer when a whole _pack_ of squirrels snuck in somehow and destroyed the laundry. Anyway, I'm not taking that chance again! Here, I'll run to your apartment the other way with your groceries instead, okay? It'll be safer. It can be like training! Here I go!"

"You brat, come back here! Give me my carrots!"

* * *

"So, hey, I know it's kinda late and all, and you probably had enough time to even go out for lunch and come back before I got here, and you look kind of scary and pissed off at me, but it wasn't my fault, I swear! This old lady who lives near me needed help with her bags, and then a black cat crossed my path and I had to go the long way, and then there was this—"

"Where the hell have you _been_?" snarled Kakashi, leaping to his feet.

Obito gave him a sheepish smile and held out a hand in offering.

"Candy?"

**-mm-**

_Notes: This scene comes from a very simple idea... "Obito is late for his team meeting, once again."_

_My Haruko shares her name with one of my favorite characters from the lovely manga, _Saturn Apartments_._

_I love cats._

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Hanzou._


	9. February 12 - Hanzou

**February 12 - Hanzou**

Consciousness fell upon him like a hammer-stroke to the head. His mind moved sluggishly through a grey fog. His thoughts barely penetrated through the juddering pulse pounding between his temples. His head seemed to be held in a steadily contracting vise, and his limbs felt like lumps of lead.

He inhaled the night air into his lungs, and tasted poison once again.

With the poison came disturbing images. In momentary flashes, he saw six fire-haired men standing before him with unsettlingly blank expressions, attacking him from every side in unerring synchronization, leaving him to bleed into the rain-soaked pavement… his heartbeat coming to a halt and stopping cold in his chest.

_I have died_. He recognized the truth of his death with a sense of detachment, as if he were watching another execution in his village of endless rain. He saw the swift fall of the blade, but did not recognize the blood it spilt as his own. The blood seeping through his memories was that of Hanzou the Salamander. Hanzou the Salamander was infallible, invincible, always two steps ahead. Hanzou the Salamander was dead.

He was Hanzou the Salamander. _I am dead_.

This did not feel like the afterlife.

_I am travelling through trees_, he thought. _My mask is intact, and I can feel my weapons at my side. I am prepared even in death._

_ Am I dead? Is this some elaborate illusion of that orange-haired child to taunt me?_

"Hanzou, you stinking Salamander, are you awake yet?" The vaguely familiar voice came from behind him.

He swiveled his head back, feeling the bones in his neck grind into each other. An old hag with dark eyes glared back at him, a young white-haired man beside her. When she moved her mouth, the skin of her face folded into papery jowls and pasty wrinkles. Her skin almost seemed to flake off as she grimaced at him.  
"Don't just stare at me. Surely you've realized that you should be dead right now, not hopping around a forest?" she sniped at him.

His eyes narrowed. "Are you part of his illusion?" Surely the child's genjutsu would be less obvious in its falsehood.

The woman barked out a harsh laugh. "So you believe that this is a dream? Why don't I give you a nice slash across the face to test out this _illusion_?"

The young man eyed both of them without a word, Hanzou observed. What purpose would such a soundless specter serve in an illusion?

"Observe and analyze all you like," cackled the woman. "We're all only headed for oblivion anyway."

**-mm-**

_Notes: I'm not sure why I included Hanzou in my calendar. I know barely anything about him._

_To be honest, I kind of wanted to turn this into a weird fic for Darkpetal16's "Sakura", where I featured Ibuse in all his glory... but then I decided that the most logical thing to do to a character I barely knew, like Hanzou, was to give him a hell of a headache and send him hopping through the trees._

_... Yes, I'm tired._

_Thank you for reading! XD Next up is Houzuki Suigetsu._


	10. February 18 - Houzuki Suigetsu

**February 18 - Houzuki Suigetsu**

"Focus, Suigetsu. You want to become one of the Seven Swordsmen one day, right?"

Suigetsu brushed off the hand ruffling his hair and scowled. "Yeah, yeah, but you promise we can spar after this, Mangetsu-nii?"

"It won't be a very long spar if you don't practice your hydrification right now," answered Mangetsu with a small smile. "Now, try it again, but focus on the technique this time."

"Okay, okay…" Suigetsu mumbled. He held out one hand and eyed it closely, willing it to turn to water.

"We're starting with one of your hands because it's an extremity. We'll move on to the rest of your arm once you can liquefy your hand." Mangetsu watched his brother attempt the technique.

Suigetsu glared at his hand, which was still stubbornly solid. Pursing his lips, he shoved more of his slowly flowing chakra towards it, imagining that his fingers were turning a little bluish, a little fluid…

"Feel your chakra. All Houzuki have water type, so this transformation will be natural to you. Turning to water is a strange sensation at first, but it becomes normal with time…" Mangetsu went on lecturing, his eyes never leaving Suigetsu's hand.

His hand was becoming very numb, Suigetsu noted. _It is turning to water, not just falling asleep, right? I've been holding it like this ever since we started. I've been pumping water chakra at it for all this time… Huh. My wrist feels weird. I can barely even feel my hand now…_

Sweet mother of swordfish! His hand was turning to water!

"Mangetsu-nii, I'm doing it! I did it!" Suigetsu thrust his wrist towards his brother, his limp hand flopping along after it.

"Not completely, Suigetsu. It's not completely liquid or solid, I'd say," commented Mangetsu, prodding at the floppy appendage thoughtfully. "It feels more like jelly than water."

Suigetsu moved his wrist towards himself, studying the gelatinous texture of his hand with rising horror. "Nii-san! What do I do?!"

"First, calm down, Suigetsu. I went through this intermediate stage too," Mangetsu soothed. "You'll figure out the rest in no time."

"But what about right now? How am I supposed to hold a blade or even _eat_ like this?" wailed Suigetsu, flailing his limp hand towards his rather amused brother. "You promised we could spar today! Now I can't even move my hand by itself—it just sort of oozes around!"

"Well, for now, let's tell father that you have mastered self-jellification, at least."

"Nii-san! My hand is _jelly_!"

**-mm-**

_Notes: Apparently Mangetsu's birthday was on the 15th, so he gets to share his little brother's scene in this series. I didn't have him on my calendar, but hey, he turned out to take over this scene somewhat anyway..._

_I have no idea what it would feel like to turn to water, but I tried to imagine it. XD_

_Thank you for reading! And thank you to Illuminated and Zoeyoong for your support. Next up is Senju Tobirama._


	11. February 19 - Senju Tobirama

**February 19 - Senju Tobirama**

"No." Tobirama eyed the frivolous piece of jewelry with a disdainful look and turned away.

The little girl pouted and put her hands on her hips. "Why _not_? Jii-san would give it to me!"

"Perhaps you could, sensei. We all know that you have money to spare…" Homura trailed off, sensing his teacher's ire.

Tsunade had no such tact. "Yeah, you can buy it! You're just mean and stingy! You want to be lazy and make Jii-san buy all my presents. You want to make Jii-san poor!"

"No," Tobirama repeated with a grimace.

"Even so, we already know that Hashirama-sama will spend half his salary on precious trinkets for his darling granddaughter. Imagine it as a favor to Hashirama-sama," suggested Homura halfheartedly. He received a silent glare for his efforts.

"Yeah, I'm a darling granddaughter. Hey, it can be like a birthday present to me. That wouldn't be wasteful, right?" Tsunade threw her hands into the air with an emphatic flair.

"I seem to recall that sensei already gave you a birthday present, Tsunade-chan," placated Homura, who knew to abandon a lost cause once his sensei gave him _that _glare. "In fact, Hiruzen and I helped him pick it out for you."

"Exactly! That shuriken pouch was too big. It keeps falling down my leg now. If you're gonna buy me a birthday present, you should let me choose it! I want this necklace. I _would like_ this necklace. Please? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please…"

Senju Tobirama strode on down the street, resolutely ignoring his grand-niece's pleas. Hashirama could spoil the girl all he wanted, but if Tsunade thought that he would throw away his funds on her silly whims, Tobirama would have to teach her the value of self-discipline and good sense. A package of kunai would be far more appropriate.

* * *

"Ah, my little girl is a genius! A fashion genius!"

Tobirama heard the distinctive cry of an embarrassingly enthusiastic grandfather and cringed internally. _Hashirama, please don't exclaim like that in public_. _The people respect you._

"It's beautiful! It's beautiful, isn't it, Homura-kun? Tsunade-chan is a genius, right?"

Tobirama could not hear his student's response, but his brother did not seem to really need one. A stream of gibbering praise flowed from the Hokage's office, making the secretary by the door coo at the cuteness. The secretary saw Tobirama approaching with a dark facial expression and ducked her head behind a large folder before the Hokage's advisor could scold her for her indiscretion.

Tobirama braced himself and stepped into the Hokage's office.

"My Tsunade-chan is _a-ma-zing_! I love it so much! So pretty…" Hashirama went on singing his granddaughter's praises, apparently not noticing his brother's entrance.

Homura stood to one side, staring at the little princess with a mournful expression.

Tsunade, meanwhile, turned her head towards Tobirama to give him an exaggerated wink and a gloating grin. From her neck, a pale ribbon caught the light, weighed down by an entire package's worth of razor-sharp kunai.

"Tobirama, look at this!" crowed Hashirama, finally acknowledging his brother's presence. "Tsunade-chan made a pretty necklace!"

Homura tore his longing gaze away from the glamorous necklace to give his sensei a pleading look.

Tobirama responded with an unimpressed glance.

"Those are your kunai, aren't they?"

Homura nodded hopefully.

"Serves you right."

**-mm-**

_Notes: Sorry this is late. On Thursday I did nothing but read an HP/LOTR crossover fic; on Friday I spent most of the day with friends; yesterday I had a monster of a headache. At least I finished this scene today... right?_

_That aside, tiny Tsunade always makes me smile. I think she just appeared once when Hashirama was reminiscing about how he spoiled her many years ago. She had great pigtails when she was tiny. XD_

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Konan._


	12. February 20 - Konan

**February 20 - Konan**

With a wave of her hand, the paper wrappings fall away, leaving his face to the muted light. His eyes remain shut, his fluttery hands laying slack by his sides as they never did in life. An interminable wait beneath the pale paper has left his skin thick and clammy to the touch.

She has not seen his face in several years. Brushing the off-white papers away from his head, her hand barely brushes his cheek. Before her mind registers the gentle touch, her hand has fallen back to her side, fingers clenched. She shudders.

His body stays motionless on the stone slab, oblivious to her uneasiness.

The fallen paper shroud rustles and melds into her wings, extending their reach by a child's handspan. With a roll of her shoulders, she fans out the interlaid feathers and banishes the tenseness in her movements. Her wings nearly brush the faceless walls on either side. She examines them in their enhanced form for a moment.

_Angel. Servant of the savior of this forsaken place._

From a distance, they think that her wings are elaborate, laden with filigree and lace and all sorts of fine embellishments. She is breath-taking, potent, and soaring high above, she will always reside in some higher plane of being, it seems.

For that, they will never see the world from on high as she does. They do not see that even their mighty Angel was once a half-drowned waif wading through miles of rain and disappointment. They do not recognize that even her storied wings are not pure white at all, but mismatched and shuffled together from all the detritus of her life. A lifetime here has taught her to hold on to the debris, the broken pieces left after the storm, because she has never had anything else to hold on to.

She loved him, once. Then he died, and his limbs fell slack, his mouth shut, but she held on still. She enfolded him in calligraphy parchments, outdated maps, dismantled paper lanterns, and they all faded to yellow in time. Now, the embalming fluid and the ceaseless rain have soaked into them, and they are no longer smooth and pristine. They have become worn out and exhausted just like everything else.

These papers could not even serve as kindling now.

They peek out at the edges of her wings, framing her feathers in a false golden fringe.

She feels the dampness of her village soaking through her paper-thin skin, but she does not feel cold. The weight of the rain bends her wing tips towards the ground. She lets her wings recede until only her somber robe can be seen on the outside.

She thinks of Yahiko, fire-bright, bursting out with outlandish ideas and childish enthusiasm the way a candle throws out extraordinary shadows against the walls. Yahiko, beautiful in his youth, tireless in all his endeavors, and now wasting away in death.

She looks at the corpse before her and sets to work.

**-mm-**

_Notes: This is me getting all thoughtful and mushy and incoherent when I'm supposed to be in bed. Cheers. I wanted to finish this scene today, though._

_Of course, I also wanted to write a scene for another of my series, and the story for my friend's birthday, and my Spanish essay... How productive I've turned out to be today. I just read a book for a couple of hours and then slowly plodded through my homework._

_The idea here, which probably isn't clear, is that Konan is handling Yahiko's corpse to prepare it for becoming one of Nagato's Paths of Pain. I'm not quite sure where it ended up... I might want to come back to this one in the future._

_I was interested to realize that I was writing this in present tense, since I don't do that all that much. I think I ended up with a little tense confusion, though... maybe I fixed it? Maybe?_

_This was supposed to have more on Yahiko and who he used to be, too, but he never really showed up. XD_

_Thank you for reading my rainy mush of Konan-ness! Next up is Yakushi Kabuto._


	13. February 29 - Yakushi Kabuto

**February 29 - Yakushi Kabuto**

From the corner, Kabuto waited, and watched Mother work.

The man on the table had a short beard and scarred arms. His hitai-ate was identical to all the others, and he had not told them his name. He was just another nameless Konoha shinobi, wounded in some distant battle, for reasons known only to him. And now he lay on Mother's table, just as many of his nameless comrades had before him.

Mother placed her hands above the man's stomach and swathed the wound in a warm glow.

"That's how Mother heals," Urushi explained in a low voice. "She gathers her chakra and focuses it for that one purpose. It looks soft and warm, right?"

The man had cried out in pain when they draped him across the table, but then Mother had fed him something. Now he lay in eerie silence, his face slack. He said nothing, only bleeding out from unfortunate places and slowly draining away, the way Kabuto was when he first came to the orphanage. The man had been alone when they found him in the forest, just like Kabuto, too. Would the man stop bleeding out, the way Kabuto did once bandages were on his head? Would anyone find him in this forest to take him away to a warm, safe place? Would he even survive?

Mother would know.

"Can you fix him?" Kabuto looked up at Mother with curious eyes.

"Oh, yeah, Mother is the best!" boasted Urushi, suddenly grinning. "Just wait and see."

"Anyone can be fixed, Kabuto-kun. With help from others, one can recover from the worst of experiences." Mother spoke slowly as she worked.

"With a wound like that, though, the guy won't have much to recover _for_. He probably won't be able to fight after this, and those shinobi never have anything on their minds besides killing each other." Urushi gave the man an unimpressed look. "What's he gonna do, hold other people's swords for them?"

"Even shinobi can turn from that path. There must be more to his life than what he does for a living," Mother responded. She lifted her hands and examined a gash on the man's chest.

"Like what?" asked Kabuto.

"He has the people in his life who motivate him," explained Mother. "He has family, friends, comrades… just the way I have you and all the other children here."

"But will they give him a purpose in life the way his career does?" Urushi stared at the man with a skeptical expression.

"The people around him have made him the person he is today. They taught him as he grew up, or pushed him to move forward, or met him along the way. Although he is a shinobi, and shinobi exist to fight, they also fight for a reason. He must have had someone he wanted to protect, or someone he looked up to."

"Or someone he wanted to beat," added Urushi.

Mother nodded calmly. "His identity comes from the people who have affected him in many different ways over the course of his life and how he interacted with them. As they have shaped his past to turn him into the man of today, they can also help him become who he will be in the future. And I, among all the rest, will help him get there by making sure he survives right now."

Kabuto watched and listened with a thoughtful expression.

Mother turned to him and smiled. "And now that you're here with us, we'll help you find out who you will become, Kabuto-kun. Like I said, anyone can recover: from painful experiences, from grievous wounds, from momentous loss… Though your past is lost to you, we will all write your future with you. Right, Urushi-kun?"

"Yep, absolutely!" Urushi grinned at the quiet boy and gave him a thumbs-up.

"For now, we can begin with showing you how chakra healing works. How does that sound, Kabuto-kun?" asked Mother.

"Okay," said Kabuto.

From the corner, Kabuto listened to Urushi's comments, and watched his Mother work.

**-mm-**

_Notes: I've actually been reading the manga _World Trigger _all day, but I figured I'd stop for a bit and write this. This scene was kinda fun._

_In my mind, this leads up to the moment when Kabuto realizes that his Mother doesn't recognize him, and he thinks that all those experiences with her are therefore meaningless. So then his identity no longer exists._

_Nonou's speech about becoming who you are because of the people around you makes me think of a quote about writing: "Nothing is more original, nothing truer to oneself, than to feed upon others' minds. Only be sure that you digest them. The lion consists of assimilated sheep." -Paul Valéry_

_Nonou's birthday is actually also coming up-it's March 5-but I'm not writing a separate scene for it._

_I was also considering trying to write about Kabuto while under Izanami, or imagining what became of him after the end of canon. And hey, what did happen to him? He was alive, and apparently he had "seen the light" and atoned for his actions... Did he go back to the orphanage?_

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Tenten._


	14. March 9 - Tenten

_This takes place in the era of the final chapter of Naruto._

**March 9 - Tenten**

"YOOOOOSH! HERE I GO!" The small bushy-browed child bolted forward, hollering to the entire village as he went.

"STRIDE FORTH, MY DISCIPLE! TAKE THE WORLD BY STORM!" A tall bushy-browed man followed suit, his shout nearly overpowering his student's.

The boisterous pair barreled down the shop aisle. Racks of wicked weapons rattled in their tailwinds. Fortunately, no other patrons bothered visiting the shop this early in the morning. Anyone who came would only see a pair of forest green blurs streaking by.

A pair of green blurs, followed immediately by an aggravated shopkeeper.

"You two! Pipe down!" She snatched a handful of pointy objects from her sleeve and brandished them threateningly. "Lee, stop making a ruckus in my store."

"My most sincere apologies, Tenten!" The man screeched to a stop in the aisle. "Halt, my cherished disciple!"

The boy whirled around immediately at his teacher's call, but tripped over his feet. He grabbed onto the nearest handhold to steady himself, but found it falling with him… and brought down an entire row of naginata to the floor.

"Do not worry, Tenten; I will recover the naginata!" In a blur, Lee snatched each weapon out of the air, barely before the blades scratched the floor. He held them out to the boy. "Here, my student, you must reset the weapons that you have displaced."

The child promptly set to work, placing the weapons on their shelves under Tenten's watchful eye.

"Well then, is everything in order?" At the shopkeeper's nod, Lee brightened. "Alright, to the training weight section! Last one there must pay for the udon!"

"I will surely beat you this time, sensei!" Both males prepared to take off again.

"_Stop right there!_" A shower of shuriken whistled through the air.

"Oh, Tenten, an agility exercise! It is so kind of you to keep us on our toes even as we shop in your store!" declared the older man, effortlessly dodging the sudden barrage. He held his student out of harm's way by the collar.

When all the shuriken rested securely embedded in the walls and shelves, Tenten and Lee remained standing in the aisle across from each other. Lee's student stood between them.

"I apologize, Tenten-san!" The boy bowed low, as his teacher looked on in approval.

"You'd better. You'll probably knock over half the shelves if you don't slow down."

"I am unworthy to challenge your swift shower of blades! I will do one hundred push-ups right here as an apology to you for my lack of skill."

"No, kid, that's not what I meant, and you don't have to do that…" Tenten trailed off, seeing that the boy had already entered a terrifying focused state, executing push-ups with a single-minded determination.

She decided to leave him to it, and turned to his teacher instead. "Lee, I'm glad you came to visit, but the running and rushing really wasn't necessary."

"Thank you, Tenten, I am glad to be here!" Lee beamed for a moment. "I thought you needed some livening up in your day, since you just sit behind the counter all the time, waiting for customers to come."

"That's sweet of you, but you should have been more careful," Tenten responded. "I know you've always preferred to use your own hands and feet, but those are precious tools."

"Alright, I will keep it in mind for next time," Lee promised, giving her a thumbs-up.

"Next time? Just get the weights you need and go," Tenten griped with a grudging smile.

"Will do!" Flashing his friend a suspiciously bright grin, Lee stepped around his student, and took off for the weights section with a dozen tailwinds flying out in his wake.

"_Lee!_" Tenten heard rising laughter from several aisles over and scowled at her friend's antics.

"Stand up, my dear student! We will now repay your debt to Tenten by buying all the weights from her store and giving her a nice profit!" Lee's cheerful voice came from the other side of the store.

"Yes, sir!" The boy quickly stood up, refusing to give in to the insistent burn in his exhausted muscles.

"Alright, I'll take your money, but scram already!" Tenten snapped, shaking a fist in Lee's general direction. "You've livened up my day enough!"

"You're welcome, Tenten!" Lee appeared at the end of her aisle again, the entire length of both his arms covered in multi-colored weights. His student peeked around him, lugging all the smaller-sized weights with a determined expression. "Well, my student, we are set. Let us race through the village on our hands, with the weight of these gifts from Tenten to bolster our arms!"

The pair rushed to the door, leaving a trail of sweaty handprints along the floor. "I left the payment on the counter, Tenten!" declared Lee, pushing open the shop door with one foot. "Please excuse our noisy intrusion!"

Tenten watched them leave, grimacing fondly. "Don't run over any passerby, you dolt," she called back. "And don't come back!"

**-mm-**

_Notes: This was written in part while I listened to dreadfully crackly customer-service-rep-waiting music. Anyway, please pretend that we have suddenly reversed time, and today is the 9th, and this scene isn't late..._

_Is this an excess of exclamation marks? It somehow felt inaccurate to write Lee's speech without including a truckload of exclamation points, but now it seems to be overkill. XD_

_Fun fact: while researching for this scene, I learned that one of Tenten's hobbies is fortune-telling. Also, I had an idea to write about an older Tenten, who thinks wistfully about her youth... but then takes it back, out of annoyance at Gai and Lee._

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Hoshigaki Kisame._


	15. March 18 - Hoshigaki Kisame

**March 18 - Hoshigaki Kisame**

To be honest, as an establishment that catered to the entirety of a ninja village, the Konoha Dango Shop dealt with its fair share of freaks every day.

"Good afternoon! Welcome to the Konoha Dango Shop. How can I help you two gentlemen?" The waitress smiled vapidly at the two men and waited.

The pair of oddballs had appeared at a side booth, hunching over the table between them to hide their faces beneath their ridiculous hats. She eyed the fine cloaks draped over them, wondering about the flamboyant design. Those fluttery dark cloaks and crimson clouds made a bizarre fashion statement in a village full of flak jackets and layers of bandages.

_Maybe they're… traveling performers?_ She wondered. _Nah, probably just more weird ninja_.

Neither answered her question. One man turned to the other, perhaps giving his companion a stare from underneath the obscuring hat.

"Do you want me to give you a rundown of the choices we offer?" She looked between the two customers questioningly. _I'm not just going to have a conversation with myself here, am I? Who knows with these secretive ninja types…_

"Just give the man a moment," said a growling voice from the customer on the left.

"Alright," she agreed. _But just so you know, I don't have all day…_

She turned to give the other man a stare of her own. Perhaps it wasn't proper protocol to pressure her customers this way, but if they ignored her, they'd never get their dango. No one would come to a dango shop just to _sit _there and stare at the table.

"Two plates of hanami dango, please," he said, finally.

"Oh, a classic!" the waitress replied, gratified to finally receive the order. "Have you come here before, sir?"

"No."

"Well, then you'd better come back to try our delicious mitarashi dango," she insisted cheerfully. "Or, if you'd like fruit, we also have some amazing anmitsu…"

The man had returned to boring a hole into the table with his eyes, sitting in silence.

_Here we go again,_ she grumbled to herself. She began to walk away to fetch their order.

"Say, do you like fish?" his companion asked suddenly.

She stopped. "Fish? I guess so. They're not so common in the Land of Fire."

"What about sharks?"

"I've never met one," she answered, raising an eyebrow at him. Where was he going with this?

"Well, some sharks have blue hides," the man revealed, nodding at her underneath his hat. "Blue is such a lovely color…"

"Crows are gorgeous creatures, aren't they?" the previously silent man interrupted.

She stilled in the aisle, staring at the two men with a baffled expression. "Who _are_ you two?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. A pair of lonely guys going off to remake the world." The more talkative man leaned back into the padded seat, waiting for her response to this bizarre declaration.

The waitress hurried away between the tables of the restaurant, as fast as her underdeveloped legs could take her. _Why do I always end up handling the huge freaks?_ she wailed silently. _And I'm going to have to go back to give them their dango. What was it again? Mitarashi dango? A lot of the weird ninja like Anko-san like mitarashi, right?_

Without a backwards glance, she rushed into the kitchen with these thoughts in her mind.

Two minutes later, she emerged from between the swinging doors, a plate of mitarashi dango in hand.

"Okay, I need to hurry, because there are other patrons here that I need to serve," she began, wanting to avoid another odd conversation from the start. "So here, your mitarashi dango…"

The booth was empty. As she whirled around to survey the restaurant, she couldn't find a single hint of the black cloaks her oddball customers had been wearing.

"What on earth?"

**-mm-**

_Notes: Yes, this is a week late. Apparently Kisame does not inspire me, and I have an incredible capacity to procrastinate..._

_This scene is supposed to be from the first appearance of Kisame and Itachi in canon, as I recall, when they're about to go for dango, but get intercepted by Kakashi instead. Something like that occurred._

_All the food mentioned comes directly from the Naruto wiki, because I'm not familiar with dango at all. I do know a fair amount of the "Dango Daikazoku" song from Clannad, though…_

_Thank you for reading~ Next up is Haruno Sakura._


	16. March 20 - Morino Ibiki

**March 20 - Morino Ibiki**

It was a typical day at the Konohagakure Intelligence Division front office. A handful of division members lounged around the office while on break, chatting lightly and absentmindedly sharpening their tools. The lull in activity between the morning working session and lunchtime had settled over the group. From his seat behind the desk, even the Big Bad, Ibiki, could see that any productivity was on hold at that moment.

He slouched in his chair. _For now, just smooth sailing and coasting along for us, I see…_

The door from the interrogation section burst open. A petite woman rushed through it, slamming the door into the nearby wall as she passed.

"I need a bandage!" cried Ayano. "Mozuku-senpai cut me!"

"Oh, calm down, Ayano-chan," drawled the man who followed her. "You'll live."

"Are you kidding me? Who knows what else has been on that kunai of yours? It's definitely not just _my_ precious blood, you barbarian," she snapped at him. "Is this how you treat your new recruits?"

Silently, Ibiki rose from his chair.

"It's not even much of a cut," Mozuku insisted, smirking. "It's not like you _really_ need all ten of your fingers…"

"All ten of my fingers?! How can I grasp a knife if I'm one finger short?" She glared at him. "Get me a bandage, you sadist, or I'll—"

She felt a sudden menacing presence behind her and clamped her mouth shut.

"Oh, so you noticed, little recruit." Her new boss stood behind her, a murderous grin on his face.

"Good morning, sir," Ayano ground out, scowling at the jab at her diminutive size. "Could you tell me where I'd find a bandage for my hand? Mozuku-senpai here obviously doesn't value his comrades' safety."

"Is that so?" Ibiki raised an eyebrow at the interrogator in question. Mozuku paled slightly, but gave him a jaunty salute.

"Absolutely!" groaned Ayano. "I think some disciplinary measures are in order, sir."

"It's your own fault for not holding the kunai properly," argued Mozuku, pulling out another of his kunai and twirling it to demonstrate.

"Stop needlessly prolonging my pain!" Ayano spat out. "I need a _bandage_!"

A scarred hand grasped hers, prodding at the angry wound. "Are you so sure, recruit?" commented the boss.

Ayano fell silent, seeing his hand dwarf hers easily. _Could he crush my hand if he tried? _She wondered.

"What has this pain taught you?" continued Ibiki, ignoring the crimson blood that now stained his fingertips.

The recruit stared at her own blood, still escaping freely from her wound.

"You have learned not to handle our tools carelessly." He traced the cut with a thick finger.

She winced.

"You have learned that your own pain limit is higher than you thought it was." He lifted his fingers, wet with her blood, before her wide eyes.

_My blood… and my pain._

"You have learned that we are your superiors in the art of gutting and slicing." He grinned sharply at her. "You have a long way to go."

Ayano did not answer, clenching her hand slightly between his fingers.

"We are Konoha's Intelligence Division, specializing in torture and interrogation. We do not run around like headless chickens at the prospect of pain." Ibiki smirked. "Let this pain be your reminder: treat your tools and your superiors with proper attention and respect. Get use to the sight of blood. In any case, Mozuku was right; you don't need five fingers on a hand to use the knife."

He paused, watching her stony expression.

"How do you expect me interrogate anyone if I just let myself bleed to death?!" Ayano burst out, wrenching her hand from his grasp. When he did not react, she continued. "I'll just find a bandage by myself if you're all going to be so sadistic about it!"

She stalked towards the desk and began rooting around in the drawer for medical supplies.

Behind her, Mozuku met Ibiki's gaze and nodded calmly. "Here, Ayano-chan, they're not in that drawer," he pointed out. "I'll grab them for you if you're going to be so pushy about it."

"Oh, shut up!" she grumbled. "And now you suddenly care?"

"Ayano," called her boss from behind. He approached the desk, no longer smirking.

She fell silent and eyed him warily.

"Keep some bandages of your own with you," Ibiki told her. "Your _guests_ will need them in the future."

"What, the supplies don't come with the job?" she griped in response. "Why do I have to buy them with my own—"

Catching sight of the thunderous expression on his face, she swallowed the rest of her complaint. "Never mind," she muttered.

Ibiki came to stand in front of her, saying nothing. She stiffened, expecting an angry blow. He had already shown his sadism towards her; how would he react when truly enraged? His silent snarl twisted the scars on his face and made him a demon of pure malice.

They remained in that tense position for a moment.

When she finally looked up at him, his scowl disappeared. She watched, baffled, as a smile spread on his scarred face. His hand came to rest on the crown of her head.

"I'm looking forward to your work with our division, Ayano-san."

She bristled. "Don't treat me like a midget!"

**-mm-**

_Notes: I somehow decided that an OC would suit this scene more. I kind of like Ayano-chan, actually. She has some similarity to Edward Elric, doesn't she? I'm thinking of her last line here. XD_

_Mozuku does exist in canon, by the way, as a very minor character._

_This was written to the soundtrack of a motley assortment of songs about love by FT Island. I have decided that they're pretty good._

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Haruno Sakura._


	17. March 28 - Haruno Sakura

**March 28 - Haruno Sakura**

_I'm going to die, _Sakura thought. _Might as well work out my last words for everyone now, before one of those rocks crushes me._

Lunging to the left to barely escape an oncoming boulder, Sakura wearily began to formulate her messages.

_Sorry, father, mother—it was actually me who ate the rest of the mochi in the house. Sorry for making you argue about nothing._

A boulder pulverized the ground a centimeter from her foot. Darting to and fro in the continuous barrage, Sakura remembered her comrades' juvenile faces.

_And then… Naruto, you're an idiot. Please never change. Sasuke, you're an idiot, and if you don't come back to us, I swear I'll slap your pretty face. And Kakashi… you are the king of idiots for training a trio of buffoons like us. And Ino, and—and—argh, how does anyone figure these things out in moments of life and death?!_

Sakura had never recognized her own mortality with such clarity before, but now, she was certain.

_I'm going to die, and it'll be because of an alcoholic half-grown grandma!_

"Alright, get your butt moving, pipsqueak!" Tsunade barked, pounding her fists together menacingly. "If you don't get a move on, one of these projectiles is going to put a dent in your face."

The steady stream of rocks immediately sped up from "dizzyingly fast" to "blinding lightning" mode.

"Run, kid, run!" Tsunade cackled maniacally.

"I'm sure you can do it, Sakura-chan!" Shizune waved her on encouragingly from one side of the clearing.

"Are you sure she isn't just using me for anger management?!" Sakura hollered back.

Shizune smiled.

_What, not even a little bit of advice? So much for a helpful elder apprentice, I guess. This is so useless! I'm just running around like a puny insect while she tries to pummel me. How is this making me stronger? How can I keep up with the rest of my numbskull team like this? _Sakura clenched her fist.

"That's it! You old hag, are you trying to kill me?!"

She struck out at the next boulder, catapulting it backwards into the others that followed it. The mass of rock fell to the ground in a thundering crash.

"Hey, the little princess woke up—looks like you have some fire to you." Tsunade's grin widened. "I was wondering when you'd kick your butt into gear."

_I made it… _Sakura was ready to flop over onto the ground and never greet the world again.

Tsunade clapped her hands together. "I think we're ready for level two now. Shizune, it's time for round two!"

Sakura gulped and let her forehead thump to the hard ground.

_I'm doomed._

**-mm-**

_Notes: Hey, long time no see! Ehehe... well, I have finally attended my first convention ever. Woot woot!_

_I feel like this has something of a similar message to the one in the previous chapter, with Ibiki. ironically, I actually came up for the idea for this one first—weeks and weeks ago. I guess I like characters who stand up for themselves, whether they succeed in that or not. Case in point: Mikumo Osamu from World Trigger XD_

_Also, I seem to remember reading that Sakura ended up agreeing to give Ino medical training in the anime… I wonder if she gave Ino the super-charged boulder treatment. Haha. She can pass on the tradition of brutalizing one's students in the name of education._

_Thank you for reading! Next up is Hidan._


End file.
